50 Solo Date Ideas for Spending Time With Yourself
You do not have to wait until someone else is free to do something you have been wanting to do.
There is a strange habit many of us pick up without ever deciding to. We save certain things for company. The little restaurant we want to try can wait until somebody is free. We would love to see the exhibition, but going alone feels slightly awkward. Even something as simple as sitting in a café with a slice of cake somehow becomes an activity that seems to require another person sitting across the table.
But spending time alone does not have to mean filling the hours until somebody else is available. A solo date is simply choosing to do something because you would enjoy it and allowing that to be reason enough. It can be a Saturday afternoon at a museum, an evening cooking something unnecessarily nice for yourself or twenty minutes spent eating breakfast somewhere other than your kitchen.
You do not have to call it a solo date if the phrase makes you cringe a little. The point is not the name. It is learning that your own company can be part of your life rather than something you only experience between plans.
What is a solo date?
A solo date is intentional time you spend doing something for yourself, by yourself. The difference between a solo date and simply being alone is mostly in how you approach it. Grocery shopping alone probably does not feel particularly special. Going to the market because you want to wander around, buy something good for dinner and stop somewhere for coffee afterward might.
It does not need to be expensive, photogenic or particularly adventurous. You do not need to dress up unless you want to and you certainly do not need to document it. Some of the best solo dates are ordinary things given slightly more attention than usual.
If you are used to organising your free time around other people's availability, this can initially feel surprisingly unfamiliar. Start small. Choose something you already know you enjoy and remove the requirement that somebody else needs to come with you.
Solo date ideas when you want to go somewhere
Going somewhere alone can feel like the biggest step, particularly if you are used to restaurants, cinemas and weekend outings being social activities. But it also gives you a kind of freedom that is difficult to have in a group. You can arrive when you want, stay as long as you like and change your mind halfway through the afternoon without consulting anyone.
1. Take yourself out for breakfast. Choose somewhere you have wanted to try and order what you actually feel like eating rather than coordinating with somebody else's plans.
2. Spend an afternoon in a bookshop. Browse slowly, read the backs of books and choose one to take home if something catches your attention.
3. Go to the cinema alone. There is something wonderfully uncomplicated about this one. Once the film starts, everyone is sitting quietly anyway.
4. Visit a museum or gallery. Move through it at your own pace. Stop for twenty minutes in front of something you like and walk straight past everything you do not.
5. Wander around a flea market. Give yourself a tiny budget or simply look. Old postcards, strange ceramics and stacks of second-hand books make this particularly good when you want somewhere to wander without a plan.
6. Explore a neighbourhood you rarely visit. You do not need to travel somewhere new to feel like you have gone somewhere. Pick another part of your own city and spend a couple of hours walking around.
7. Take yourself out for cake. Not coffee grabbed on the way somewhere else. Sit down, order the cake and stay for a while.
8. Visit a botanical garden, park or greenhouse. Bring nothing you need to accomplish while you are there. Just walk.
9. Go to a record shop. Browse albums without searching for anything in particular. If they have listening stations, even better.
10. Take a train somewhere nearby. Choose a town you can reach easily, spend a few hours there and come home the same day. It does not have to become a weekend away to count as going somewhere.
One of the nicest things about these dates is that you begin noticing how many places were never actually off-limits to you alone. You were simply waiting for company out of habit.
Solo date ideas that cost little or nothing
Spending time with yourself does not need to become another expensive lifestyle trend. In fact, removing the pressure to make a solo date impressive often makes it much easier to actually do one.
11. Pack something to eat and have a picnic. Take a book, magazine or nothing at all.
12. Go for a long walk somewhere you usually rush through. Leave enough time that you do not have to turn around after twenty minutes.
13. Visit your local library. Browse a section you normally ignore and borrow something purely because it interests you.
14. Watch the sunset from somewhere you like. Bring something warm and stay until it actually gets dark instead of leaving after taking a photograph.
15. Take photographs of your ordinary neighbourhood. Not for social media. Photograph doors, signs, windows, trees or anything else you suddenly notice when you are deliberately looking.
16. Spend an hour reading somewhere other than home. A park bench, library, courtyard or quiet corner of your city can make the same book feel different.
17. Go somewhere without headphones. Take a familiar walk and let yourself hear what is happening around you.
18. Browse a market without buying much. If you want, choose one small thing to take home: good bread, a piece of fruit you have never tried or a bunch of flowers.
19. Find the best view near you. A hill, bridge, riverbank or street you always pass without stopping is enough.
20. Make yourself a tourist in your own city. Visit one place you would recommend to somebody visiting but somehow never go to yourself.
The point is not to prove that you can have fun without spending money. It is simply useful to remember that doing something intentional with an afternoon does not always require buying access to it.
Take the ideas with you
I made a little printable for the days when you want to do something for yourself but have no idea what. The Solo Date List includes ideas to choose from, places you want to remember and space to plan your next date with yourself.
Already part of The Femme Space? You'll find it waiting for you inside.
Solo date ideas for staying home
Not every solo date needs to involve leaving the house. The difference between an ordinary evening at home and an evening that actually feels like yours can be surprisingly small. Sometimes it is simply deciding what you want to do before your phone decides for you.
21. Cook something you normally save for other people. Use the good plate. Make a dessert if you want one. There is no rule saying effort in the kitchen only counts when somebody else is coming over.
22. Have a film night properly. Choose the film before you sit down, make something to eat, dim the lights and put your phone somewhere you cannot reach it without getting up.
23. Listen to an entire album. From the first song to the last, without shuffling it or doing six other things at the same time.
24. Make something with your hands. Paint, sew, collage, knit, build something, press flowers or try the craft you bought supplies for months ago.
25. Bake something just because you want to eat it. It does not need to be somebody's birthday.
26. Have a long bath or shower and put on clean pyjamas afterward. Change the sheets earlier that day if you want the full experience.
27. Start the book you keep saying you will read. Give it an uninterrupted hour before deciding whether you actually like it.
28. Make a meal from somewhere you would like to visit. Find a recipe rather than ordering it and make the cooking part of the evening.
29. Print some photographs. Put them into an album, tape them into a notebook or simply make a small pile of memories you can actually hold.
30. Have an offline evening. Put your phone away and see what you reach for when scrolling is temporarily unavailable. If you need ideas, Things to Do Instead of Scrolling When You Need a Break has plenty of places to start.
Staying home can be particularly good if you have begun associating time alone with defaulting to your phone. You do not have to fill every quiet evening with an activity, but occasionally choosing one thing you genuinely want to do can make home feel less like the place where you wait between other parts of your life.
Solo dates for when you want to try something new
Doing something new alone has one enormous advantage: nobody knows whether you are good at it.
There is no friend beside you who already knows how to throw pottery, no need to agree on which class sounds most interesting and nobody to entertain if you decide halfway through that you hate it. You are allowed to be curious without committing to a new identity.
31. Book a beginner class. Pottery, painting, cooking, dance, photography or anything else you have quietly wondered about.
32. Try a new recipe with an ingredient you have never cooked before. Give yourself permission for the result to be mediocre.
33. Go to a talk, reading or small local event. Libraries, bookshops and museums often have events you might never think to attend with a group.
34. Try a creative workshop. Look for something you can complete in one afternoon rather than immediately signing up for a twelve-week course.
35. Order something you have never tried. Visit a restaurant from a cuisine you do not know well and choose something unfamiliar.
36. Learn one small skill. Not “learn Italian”. Learn how to make fresh pasta, develop photographs, mend a button properly or identify five plants on your usual walk.
37. Go somewhere you have always thought was “not really for you”. An antique shop, poetry reading, classical concert, climbing gym or anything else you have dismissed without actually trying.
38. Take a different route home and stop somewhere along the way. New does not always have to mean big.
39. Try an offline hobby for an afternoon. If you need inspiration, I collected 30 Offline Hobbies to Try Instead of Scrolling, from things you can start at home to reasons to go somewhere new.
40. Do the thing you keep waiting to have company for. This one is deliberately vague. You probably already know what yours is.
Trying something once does not mean it has to become your thing. You are allowed to take a pottery class and never touch clay again. Curiosity does not require commitment.
Solo date ideas for making an ordinary day feel special
There are days when you do not want a new hobby, an excursion or an ambitious plan. You simply want the day to feel slightly different from yesterday.
Those are some of my favourite kinds of solo dates because they ask very little from you.
41. Buy yourself flowers while doing the grocery shopping. Not as a reward and not because you had a difficult week. Just because you like them.
42. Take yourself somewhere for lunch on an ordinary weekday. Even better if you normally eat at your desk or while doing something else.
43. Make your morning unnecessarily nice. Get up slightly earlier, make breakfast you actually want and sit down while you eat it.
44. Go somewhere specifically to read. Choose the location first and let the book be the reason you stay.
45. Dress for the day you want rather than the errands you have. Wear the coat, jewellery or shoes you keep saving for somewhere better.
46. Buy a magazine and read it somewhere slowly. There is something pleasingly old-fashioned about having one finite thing to read instead of an endless feed.
47. Take the long way somewhere. Walk instead of rushing, get off one stop early or choose the prettier route even if it takes fifteen minutes longer.
48. Make dinner and set the table for yourself. Not every night. Just once, because eating alone does not have to mean eating over the kitchen counter.
49. Go out for an evening walk when you would normally stay on the sofa. Notice lit windows, restaurants filling up and what your neighbourhood feels like at a different hour.
50. Give yourself an afternoon with no plan. This might be the hardest one. Do not decide in advance how to make it productive. Start somewhere and see what you feel like doing next.
A solo date does not have to create a memory you will talk about for years. Sometimes its only purpose is to make one ordinary day feel a little more inhabited.
What if going somewhere alone feels awkward?
It probably will the first few times.
There is a peculiar moment when you sit down alone in a café or restaurant and suddenly become convinced that everyone has noticed. In reality, most people are busy with their own conversations, food and phones. The person who is thinking most about the fact that you are alone is usually you.
If you are nervous, choose an easy first date. A bookshop, museum, cinema or market gives you something to do and somewhere to look. Bring a book if sitting alone in a café feels uncomfortable, but try not to use your phone as a shield the entire time. Part of the experience is allowing yourself to simply be there.
You also do not have to leap from “I never do anything alone” to booking yourself a table at the busiest restaurant in town on Saturday night. Start with twenty minutes somewhere. The unfamiliar part gets much less interesting once you have done it a few times.
Do not turn dating yourself into another self-improvement project
There is a version of solo dating online that can begin to look suspiciously like another list of things we should be doing correctly. Take yourself on weekly dates. Become your own best friend. Buy yourself flowers. Romanticise your life. Learn to love being alone.
You do not need to do any of that.
A solo date is not evidence that you are independent enough, healed enough or sufficiently comfortable with yourself. It is just an option. Sometimes you will want company. Sometimes being alone will sound wonderful. Sometimes the nicest possible Saturday is staying home and doing absolutely nothing notable.
If you are interested in creating more ordinary moments away from your phone rather than constantly finding something to fill them with, Less Screen Time, More Real Life explores that more gently.
You do not have to learn to prefer being alone. It is enough to stop treating your own company as the backup plan.
Make a list of places you are tired of waiting to visit
Think about the last six months. Is there somewhere you have repeatedly said you want to go?
Maybe you have sent the restaurant to three different friends and still have not been. Perhaps an exhibition is ending soon. There is a little cinema you keep walking past, a shop across town you have wanted to browse or a neighbourhood you always mean to explore.
Write down five places.
Then choose one.
Not the most impressive one. Choose the easiest.
Go this week if you can.
The interesting part of solo dates is not becoming someone who confidently does everything alone. It is realising how often waiting for someone else has quietly become the reason you do not do something at all.
Your own company counts
Some of the best things in life are better shared. A conversation that lasts until midnight. Dinner with somebody who makes you laugh. A trip you still talk about years later. Friendship, love and being part of other people's lives matter.
Solo dates are not a replacement for any of that.
They simply make your world a little larger. You can still hope somebody comes with you next time while enjoying the afternoon you had today. You can love company without requiring it for every experience worth having.
So go to the bookshop. See the film. Order the cake. Wander through the museum as slowly as you want. Take the train somewhere for no particularly good reason.
You were already invited.
Do you ever take yourself on solo dates? I’d love to know what you enjoy doing alone or which idea from this list you would actually try. Leave a comment below and tell me.
